The Ravings of a Kindly Old Man with a Poor Memory
Joe Biden, long before he was, ahem, installed as president, pilfered and retained highly classified information in three different locations, one a presumably dust-and-spider-infested garage.
But Robert Hur, the kind of federal prosecutor we should all be so lucky as to encounter, found that Crusty Joe was much too likable and fried to ever prosecute or convict. So no charges for poor, old, senile, and likely incontinent, Sleepy Joe.
And that’s my defense for anyone triggered by my forthcoming political and social ramblings. I’m almost seventy-one, I rarely know what day it is, I worry about nothing save death and taxes (mostly death), I hit my head 1–4 times a night, yet for a former dentist, I’m fairly likable and unconventionally handsome.
So, please pretend that I, too, am as fried and blameless as our practically petrified puppet president. Because, should Funny Business, Inc. suddenly come a-knockin’, that will be my defense in court (hopefully not Judge Arthur or Juan’s court in the corrupt Big Apple, don’t mind the maggots).